2025年的职场关键词："摸鱼"，一直摸鱼一直爽，公司雇我上班真是有福气了！
- 这一年 你说过47524次不想上班 61846次不想活了 最终死亡率高达0% 出勤率100%
- 这一年 你曾824次暗下决心“明天到公司就提离职”，但依然坚持到12月等明年再说
- 这一年 你一共被拉进407个工作群 回复“收到 好滴 okk 111”次数高达8164次 其中4387次后面都带了波浪号
- 这一年 你一共发送94658435次哈哈哈哈哈哈，超越全国96%的牛马，你以为自己情绪变得稳定性格逐渐开朗，其实已经疯了
- 这一年 你坚持最久的事情 骂人 以前骂人可能是因为你素质低劣 但今年你骂的每一个人都是他们活该
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<title>2025年度求职报告</title>
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/* 手机端容器模拟 */
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.user-info h2 {
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.user-info span {
font-size: 12px;
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background: rgba(43, 76, 255, 0.1);
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/* 数据核心区 - 网格布局 */
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/* 实习经历条 */
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margin-bottom: 25px;
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align-items: center;
box-shadow: 0 8px 16px rgba(43, 76, 255, 0.25);
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@keyframes grow4 { to { width: 40%; } } /* Offer率极低，真实 */
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z-index: 10;
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/* 关键帧动画 */
@keyframes fadeInDown {
from { opacity: 0; transform: translateY(-20px); }
to { opacity: 1; transform: translateY(0); }
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@keyframes fadeInUp {
from { opacity: 0; transform: translateY(20px); }
to { opacity: 1; transform: translateY(0); }
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@keyframes zoomIn {
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to { opacity: 1; }
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@keyframes stampIn {
to { transform: rotate(-20deg) scale(1); }
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<div class="container">
<!-- 顶部标题 -->
<header class="header">
<h1>2025 打工报告</h1>
<p>致那个今年没有被裁员的自己</p>
</header>
<!-- 用户信息 -->
<div class="user-card">
<div class="avatar">👨🎓</div>
<div class="user-info">
<h2>牛马人生</h2>
<div style="margin-top:5px;">
<span>#100%出勤率</span>
<span>#公司摸鱼侠</span>
<span>#职场窝囊废</span>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!-- 核心数据网格 -->
<div class="data-grid">
<!-- 投递 -->
<div class="data-item">
<div class="icon-bg num-orange"><i class="fas fa-paper-plane"></i></div>
<span class="data-num num-orange">10000+</span>
<span class="data-label">发送消息</span>
</div>
<!-- 笔试 -->
<div class="data-item">
<div class="icon-bg num-purple"><i class="fas fa-edit"></i></div>
<span class="data-num num-purple">1000+</span>
<span class="data-label">写过的代码</span>
</div>
<!-- 面试 -->
<div class="data-item">
<div class="icon-bg num-blue"><i class="fas fa-comments"></i></div>
<span class="data-num num-blue">100+</span>
<span class="data-label">会议次数</span>
</div>
<!-- Offer -->
<div class="data-item">
<div class="icon-bg num-gold"><i class="fas fa-trophy"></i></div>
<span class="data-num num-gold">0</span>
<span class="data-label">老板的表彰</span>
</div>
</div>
<!-- 实习经历 -->
<div class="exp-bar">
<div class="exp-left">
<h3>工作总结</h3>
<p>今年你一共说了9999遍"不想上班了"，最后100%出勤率</p>
<p>这一年你长胖了10斤，肚子里全是老板画的饼和公司的白开水</p>
<p>今年你的职场最佳搭子是厕所，他见证了你的喜怒哀乐</p>
</div>
<div class="exp-icon">
<i class="fas fa-briefcase"></i>
</div>
</div>
<!-- 转化率漏斗 -->
<div class="funnel-card">
<div class="funnel-title">📊职场高频词</div>
<div class="funnel-row">
<span>好滴！</span>
<div class="progress-bg"><div class="progress-fill fill-1"></div></div>
<span>123456+</span>
</div>
<div class="funnel-row">
<span>收到~</span>
<div class="progress-bg"><div class="progress-fill fill-2"></div></div>
<span>8536+</span>
</div>
<div class="funnel-row">
<span>哈哈哈</span>
<div class="progress-bg"><div class="progress-fill fill-3"></div></div>
<span>7839+</span>
</div>
<div class="funnel-row">
<span style="font-weight:bold; color:#DAA520;">什么？</span>
<div class="progress-bg"><div class="progress-fill fill-4"></div></div>
<span style="font-weight:bold; color:#DAA520;">999+</span>
</div>
<p style="text-align:center; font-size:12px; color:#999; margin-top:15px;">
* 你以为你精神状态良好，实则是真没招了
</p>
</div>
<!-- 趣味标签 -->
<div class="tags">
<div class="tag tag-1">热衷上班划水</div>
<div class="tag tag-2">带薪拉屎王</div>
<div class="tag tag-1">脱发一等奖</div>
<div class="tag tag-3">上班素质良好</div>
</div>
<!-- 盖章效果 -->
<div class="stamp">
顶级<br>牛马
</div>
<footer class="footer">
<p>2025打工报告 ·生活是薯饼 ，又想薯又有病</p>
<p style="margin-top:5px; font-size:10px; opacity:0.5;">长按保存图片分享</p>
</footer>
</div>
</body>
</html>
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